Insanity
by DarkHighElf113
Summary: Gandalf, Aragorn, Merry, Pippen, Legolas, and Gimli are somehow brought into our world and go around with several school girls and commit all sorts of crimes. BY DARK


The alarm went off. A hand reached out from under the blanket, and punched the alarm.

"Belóviel! Your breakfast is getting cold!" a voice shouted to the bedroom ten minutes later.

Belóviel walked downstairs, all ready for school. She grabbed a banana, ignoring the runny eggs sitting on a plate for her, and walked out the door.

A few houses down, Elenya was leaving her house, after having a nice warm breakfast. She walked to Belóviel's house, and together they walked to where Calimtauren sat on the curb, waiting for her friends.

"You're late," she said, standing up to greet her friends.

"Slept in," muttered Belóviel, walking ahead.

Belóviel suddenly stopped. So did Calimtauren and Elenya. There was neighing in the distance. Soon the girls also heard trampling, as if horses were galloping on the rocky street.

"Whoa! Wha--" started Calimtauren, but several horses galloping past interrupted her.

The horses neighed, and turned around. Once they reached the girls, the horses stopped. A filthy, rugged man equipped with sword and bow jumped off his horse.

"Who are you?" the man asked a rather startled Elenya, Belóviel, and Calimtauren.

"I am Elenya, this is Belóviel, and she is Calimtauren. We are walking to the bus stop. Who would you be?"

"I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn. My companions and I need your help. The bearded old man is Gandalf, the blonde elf is Legolas, Gimli is the hairy one, and Merry and Pippin are the short, curly-haired hobbits."

"Vedui' tuulo' quessirea(1) ," said Legolas the elf, who had very shiny, pretty hair.

"Saesa omentien lle(2)," responded Belóviel.

Legolas grinned, happy because someone else spoke his language, and looking around, he saw Calimtauren's long blonde hair. Just like mine, he thought.

"We are on our way to Edoras, in Rohan. We just departed from Isengard, where Gandalf overthrew Saruman and found the hobbits," Aragorn said, returning everyone's thoughts to the quest, "Though we are lost."

Argument erupted between the girls. Elenya wanted to bring the Fellowship to school, Belóviel was set on skipping school to help the Fellowship, and Calimtauren wanted to quickly find a way back to Middle Earth so she could go. Finally, they decided to bring the strange men to school, and then help them. Since the bus had left while the girls were arguing, Aragorn offered them horses.

At school, Gandalf brought the horses down to the soccer field. Calimtauren walked in discussing hair products with Legolas. Elenya was yanking Merry's curls, and watching them spring back, and Aragorn and Belóviel were talking about various weapons. Pippin, Gimli, and Gandalf walked behind, wondering what to do next. People stared at the group. Hierolyn ran up to Aragorn

"EVIL CHILLIES! ! ! !" she squealed, causing Aragorn to jump onto Belóviel.

"Get off me," she grunted.

After several minutes, Aragorn realized that Hier was harmless, and that evil chillies were fun! Then he felt a slight tug on his sleeve. Turning around slowly, he saw a weird kid with spiked hair.

"Wanna fence?" the kid, Raikoh asked, pulling out a yardstick. 

Aragorn swung his sword and broke the yardstick.

"Or not," said Raikoh, slowly backing away.

During Spanish, Legolas decided that elvish was a more important language than the gibberish these humans called Spanish. He shoved the teacher aside, and started writing in elvish on the board. Then came the phrases.

"Lasto beth nin(3)," Legolas said, expecting the class to respond.

Hillary and her friends rolled their eyes and started flirting with the people around them. Seeing this, Legolas became angry and used some arrows. Belóviel and Elenya grabbed him and ran out of the class. 

Meanwhile, Calimtauren and her gym class were sprinting.

"But cross country is better," one child whined.

"We dwarves are natural sprinters!" responded Gimli, who was teaching the class.

When the children wouldn't sprint, Gimli picked up his axe, threatening anyone who wouldn't sprint.

Nearby, in another gym class, Desh'mieve and Hierolyn were learning fencing from Aragorn.

"Advance," Aragorn demonstrated, "And retreat."

Lindsey and Julia tripped over each other and started laughing, ignoring Aragorn's instructions.

"AARGH! ! ! ! ! !" he screamed, kicking a nearby mask. 

Then, he pulled out Narsil, and before Desh could stop him, Lindsey and Julia were lying on the gym floor bleeding. Desh and Hier pulled Aragorn out before anyone came.

During all this slaughter of innocent children who annoyed the Fellowship, Merry and Pippin were going around with the 6th graders. 

"What about second breakfast?" asked Pippin, when they were going to lunch.

"I don't think they know about second breakfast, Pip," answered Merry, rolling his eyes. 

Before they could sit down and enjoy their lunch, Belóviel, Elenya, Desh'mieve, Hierolyn, and Calimtauren ran in and grabbed Merry and Pippin and sprinted out of the school. Gandalf and Gimli found them with the horses. Gandalf and Gimli mounted, and the group rode off, just as the principal came out.

"Come back here and disarm yourselves! I'm calling the police!" she screamed.

They were far away by that point, and decided to take the Fellowship into Pennsylvania where no one would know what happened. As the group was riding, Gimli spied a poster for Return of the King with a picture of Aragorn and Orcs on it.

"Gurth gothrim lly!(4)" shouted Legolas as his arrows flew at the Orcs. 

Soon Legolas had the innocent poster covered with holes and arrows. Gimli then decided that he, the one and only dwarf in the Fellowship, deserved to fight the poster.

"Nobody holds back the dwarf," he stated, running at the poster with his axe.

"Hey why does Aragorn have his picture on everything?" asked Merry.

"It's not fair!" cried Pippen.

A devilish look appeared in Merry's eyes. Pippin saw it, and the same look was in his eyes. Together, they went up to the poster with a marker they stole from school, and drew horns, scars, and bucked teeth on Aragorn's picture.

"But I am the future king of Gondor and Arnor!" Aragorn said, quite unhappy with the poster.

Out of nowhere, Aimee-Vix came and also defaced Aragorn with a marker.

"Aimee-Vix!" Belóviel cried, eager to be reunited with her camp friend.

"Belóviel!" Aimee-Vix cried for the same reason, and they spent some time catching up on life.

"So how did they get here?" Aimee asked, gesturing at the Fellowship.

"Well, we were walking to the bus stop, and they suddenly appeared," Elenya answered.

"Do you like the president of this country?" Aimee randomly asked all of us.

A chorus of "no" answered.

"Well, we can tell Gandalf that the Mouth of Sauron just so happens to live in this place. We can take them to D.C. and tell them to attack Bush!" Aimee said, with the same devilish look in her eyes.

"FUN! !" everyone answered.

With this new turn of events, the group turned around and started with disguises.

"But I don't want to dye my beautiful hair brown," pouted Legolas, when Calimtauren showed him the color.

"You'll look just like Elrond," Hier offered.

"Like that's a GOOD thing? !" Elenya exclaimed.

"Sshhh!" Hier responded.

"I don't want to shower and shave," whined Aragorn as the stylist pulled out the razor.

"Well, you have to. Look around. All the men here are cleaner than you," Calimtauren argued.

"Nobody makes the dwarf unbraid his beard!" bellowed Gimli, while several people tied him to the chair and fixed his beard.

"Shoes stink!" shouted Merry and Pippin, when Desh showed them the shoes they would wear.

Gandalf was the only person who would accept his disguise, except the part about separating him from his staff.

"Must you part an old man from his walking stick?" he asked, with a sweet, helpless look in his eyes.

When the Fellowship and girls emerged from the building, no one would have known that they were the people who created chaos at a middle school.

"Taxi!" bellowed Aimee-Vix, and a bright yellow taxi showed up.

"Use some magic to make more room in the taxi," Belóviel told Gandalf.

"Sorry, but that only works in Harry Potter," Gandalf replied sadly.

The seating arrangement ended up with Gandalf in the front with the driver, Merry and Pippin stuffed in the trunk, Legolas and Aimee squeezed into a seat, Gimli and Belóviel in another, Aragorn and Hier, and Elenya, Desh, and Calimtauren sitting on everyone. Unfortunately, some police officers in a doughnut shop grew suspicious when they saw the trunk of the taxi opening and closing, despite the fact that it was moving quite fast, and that human bodies were pressed to the windows.

The sirens sounded.

"Uh oh," Desh muttered. 

"It's all yo' fault homies," said the taxi driver.

The driver pulled over the taxi, and the police officers came.

"May I ask just how many people are in the car?" the short one asked.

"Hmm. There are. . ." the taxi driver counted on his fingers, "Twelve with the li'l ones in the trunk, thirteen if you include me."

"Whoa!" exclaimed the tall officer. The short one was speechless.

"Well, whatever. Here is your ticket. You are fined fifty bucks for having too many people in a car," continued the tall officer.

"If we see you with this many people in your car again, we will report you to your employers."

The taxi driver paid what he owed to the officers, and then drove off. The car arrived in Washington, D.C., a few blocks from the White House. The girls tipped the driver, removed Merry and Pippin from the trunk, and walked to the White House with the Fellowship.

"Wow! What an ugly palace," Aragorn commented, breaking the silence.

The girls bought tour tickets for everyone, and while Aimee asked the tour guide annoying questions, everyone else crept away, and tip-toed through the hallways, until they reached the room Bush was in. 

"Gurth goth lly!(5) " bellowed Legolas, and then arrows went through the air.

Aragorn joined in with the arrows, and Gimli went and destroyed everything in the room with his axe. Gandalf muttered a spell that caused Bush to fall to the ground and bark like a dog. Eventually, some arrows hit Bush, and Gandalf released the spell. 

"Make him invisible, Gandalf," Belóviel instructed.

Gandalf made Bush invisible, and the Fellowship and girls marched away, carrying Bush's body. Unfortunately, some security guards who had heard Bush screaming, met the group in the hallway, and arrested everyone. By the time the guards discovered Bush's body, he was long dead, and Cheney had died from a heart attack, prompted by the White House Siege, as it was later known.

The workers at the police station called the girls' parents, who were very unhappy to hear that their daughters had been with such bad influences. The Fellowship wasn't as lucky. They were sentenced with murder, vandalism, and disturbing the public. That night, everyone was staying in the jail. They shared a cell, so they could talk.

"Aragorn, you all have to escape. Otherwise, Frodo could fail, and Sauron could corrupt Middle Earth," Belóviel said anxiously. 

"How will we escape?" asked Legolas, in between sniffles. 

"Why are you crying?" Desh asked.

"My hair is filthy," Legolas said, and burst into tears again.

Desh and Elenya went over to comfort him. Beloviel and Hier were discussing how the Fellowship should escape.

"Maybe Gandalf is capable of bringing them back," Hier offered.

"No. I cannot bring us back. I didn't bring us here in the first place, and only the person who sent us here can bring us back."

"Saruman!" Hier gasped.

"But we overthrew him at Isengard. He is powerless."

"Could you have done it, Gandalf?"

"No."

Hier and Belóviel continued to think. Suddenly, Pippin remembered something.

"Gandalf! Remember when you were about to take me to Gondor with you, and you decided to try using magic to get us there? Well, you said Earth, instead of Middle Earth! And we ended up in an area of stone houses!"

Gandalf slowly turned around, quite red in the face and even the beard because someone had questioned his power.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY, HALFLING?"

"It's true! You said Earth, not Middle Earth. I heard Desh say this place is called Earth. And we landed in an area that resembled Gondor, though it wasn't. Somehow everyone ended up here."

Everyone in the cell looked at Gandalf, who was blushing so much that his face was bright red. He muttered some words, and the Fellowship vanished, right in front of the girls.

"Well they're gone. But what about us?" asked Calimtauren, and for some reason, Belóviel burst into laughter.

* 

Several days later, all the girls, excluding Aimee-Vix, went on trial. Belóviel and Desh pleaded not guilty due to temporary insanity, Hier pleaded not guilty, and Calimtauren and Elenya let their lawyers do the talking. All of them ended up with some jail time, and Belóviel and Desh spent three long, torturous weeks in a mental asylum. When Return of the King came out, all of the girls were afraid to see the movie because of the possibility that the movie would remind them of their trauma. In a few summers, the girls all went to find jobs, but were rejected because of their records. One day, they were looking back on their experiences, finally able to discuss the trauma.

"I never knew I could be so brave!" exclaimed Hierolyn.

"Yeah! Authority used to scare me, but now I defy it. Helping with the murder of Bush was fun!" Desh added.

"I wonder if Legolas will come back for me," Elenya said, lost in a day dream about him.

"If he does, he should bring Aragorn with him," stated Hier.

"The experience inspired me to write my novel, which won some prizes! Now I am rich!" said Calimtauren.

Belóviel, however, remained speechless. She was lost in thought, thinking about how life would have been in Middle Earth. But, she knew she would be frowned upon, because she would be interpreted as a Mary-Sue. For the rest of her life, the trauma influenced her. She read all the Lord of the Rings books over and over again, and found herself stronger. She was no longer afraid of death, or crime, but the jail and mental asylum never saw her again, and her life was happy, and her story passed on for generations.

1. Greetings from the elves 

2. Pleasure to meet you 

3. Hear my voice 

4. Death to our foes 

5. Death to our foe 


End file.
